Lately it's been raining everyday. Before that I'd gotten used to 70 degree weather. Bummer huh? Absolutely, when my favorite season is Spring. Just when things start to green up a bit. After the rain comes....flowers and sunshine and the completion of school. And, dare I say, Jim's homecoming. I simply cannot wait. In attempt to appropriate the showers, I dream of these things all day long. From the time I roll out of the bed in the morning to the time I close my book and tuck myself in. Today was the second day of rain. When I look out the living room windows, the sparkle of the crystal clear rain drops clinging to the chain-link fence lures me out of my dreary thoughts. The thought of the upcoming start of my classes tomorrow or the thought of being alone for another nine months.
Eleven more months to go. Have to say, I happened to think I was sailing through the month with fantastic completion of organizing my storage room, spare room, and my many scrap-booking tools. However, a halt was put on my progress. I fell into a pit of despair and fear. One I have never visited before. All of this journey became immediately foreign with no knowledge of how to put myself together again or survive the continuing months. With a full day of tears mirroring the rainfall outdoors, I longed for his voice. And then it happened. He called...said not to fret nor fear. It annihilates my insides to know the unthinkable is happening all around him of which he cannot speak and he reassures me with the confidence in his steady voice.
As the weekend has crept by, I face this week with sure self-motivation to complete my homework early on so I have the rest of the week to do as I please. I've made plans to transform my spare bedroom, mosaic my patio table, and paint my storm door with rustoleum spray paint because it has begun to rust from the slowly-receding winter weather.
My projects are on hold as they all require fresh sunshine and the outdoor air so as not to run Sadie, Shooter, and I out of the house from fumes.
It seems as if I am more apprehensive about this new quarter of school as I am not sure why. It should be more simple than the last and after this one I'll only have four more classes to complete. I am so looking forward to that. Although, you see, I am a person who plans wwwwaaaaayyyy into the future...by like, five years at a time. I have begun to worry about my job opportunities when I get finished. I am not so sure what kind of position I want to assume. I am a bit puzzled as I feel that what I want to do is not what I've been schooled to do. I worry I will not use the schooling that I've paid for, that I might pursue another aspect of my dreams. However, I still wonder what I will do and what I want to do. Hmmmmm. I do think though that my worries are not as big as Jims.
Lately, (by that I mean, for the last month) I've not known what to talk about with Jim. We've begun discussing our dreams and plans for when he gets back. Where he wants to go and what he wants to accomplish within the military. CAG, Special Forces, Ranger Batallion...and the list continues...however I do know which he would dream of pursuing first. All of these I do support, I'll have you know. Whatever his dreams are, I am right behind him 100%. I do also hope to find a job wherever he goes...So, my next question is....When do we have babies? Hahahaha, I know this may not be on the top of everyones list of things for us to accomplish, but it's got to happen sometime. I just worry about how long we should wait and how to plan around moving about with his dreams and our housing issues for post housing. As I will live in no other place because it provides much room for our animals to romp around inside and outside of the house...Anyhoo...I do think these past few days of rain have made all of these worries become a weather front within my brain. It just seems a bit overwhelming to consider alone...rain rain go away - don't occupy my thoughts for another day.
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