Lately I've been thinking about the big picture. You know, like things other than "OMG my phone is broken" and "I can't wait to get out of this small town" and "LOL".
My mind tends to wonder off in one specific direction. It's like tunnel-mind instead of tunnel-vision. I'll start thinking about one thing and before you know it...tunnel-mind...onto the subject I cannot seem to shake.
Ok, fine, I'll tell you what I've been thinking about but it'll probably bore you out of your own mind.
I keep thinking about the way people are so self-ish. They can't get past the last text message or the last party they attended and can't remember what happened. I'll give you a challenge. I tend to like these ones. I challenge you to live one day without thinking about how you feel or what you want. Because, I'll tell you one thing, when your husband is in Afghanistan fighting for our lives and our freedom, things tend to change.
When he left (almost two months ago), I was still thinking, "How am I going to survive without him? How am I going to be able to take care of the car for a year all by myself? How am I going to be able to keep the house up with minor repairs? How will I handle both animals all by myself?" Well, I think that was my pity party...and now it's over.
All I think about now is, "I wonder how I could survive without my plush mattress and my clean sheets and my fluffy pillow? I wonder how Jim can live with...how many other guys? I wonder what it's like for Jim to have to sit in a room full of other guys while he talks to his wife? I wonder what it's like for Jim to only get an hour of sleep at night only to get up and pull guard duty then on to patrols? I wonder what it's like for Jim to sleep on a hard cot-like bed with a set of sheets and a pillow I sent to him? I wonder what it's like for Jim to not be able to shower everyday or even every other day? I wonder what it's like for Jim to not have stuff to shower with? I wonder what it was like for Jim to pack a backpack ONLY full of stuff to live off of for the next year (granted, I can now send him necessities)? I wonder what it's like for Jim to not have the movies he wants? I wonder what it's like for Jim when he sees me on the computer screen and I'm about four inches tall by four inches wide (OH, wait, I know what that's like because he is only four inches tall and four inches wide, but you get my drift)? I wonder what it's like to not have anything. The worst part of all this is that I know a little bit of what it's like because I get to talk to him. Most of you don't know what it's like to voluntarily give of all of your "fun" belongings and to give of your family so self-less-ly. I know it would be much easier to not know these things and that is just how you all get by everyday. Not knowing what your cousin goes through, not knowing what your friend goes through...Well, guess what, it's not just your cousin or your friend. It is all of these soldiers. Over 30,00 are in Afghanistan. Every single one of them gave up the same things for you. And I'll tell you something else. Every single one of these soldiers would probably do it again.
I wonder how Jim could possibly enjoy this...you know...I could understand camping and maybe even enjoy it...but this? How can these boys do it? Simple. He just does.
One thing I don't wonder why he chose this career. He chose it for himself. He chose it for me. He chose it for his family. He chose it for you. He chose to give of his own freedom of his daily life so he could fight for the United States.
So, please please, be thankful.
LOVELOVE
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